Yesterday morning was a morning like any other. I woke up…actually, scratch that. Thursday morning was a morning like any other. I woke up, got dressed, did some things, and went out. At 4 am I got on the J train to head to JFK for my 7:00 flight to LAX. As I was walking to the subway with a backpack on my back and a duffle bag swung over my shoulder, I thought to myself: Why didn’t I pack my suitcase that has wheels? I knew there must have been a good reason because I remember thinking to myself as I was choosing which bag to take, “I should definitely bring the duffle bag, because it’s way better.” It’s not way better. Wheels are way better.

Anyway, I got to the airport on time and everything was fine until the security guard took my small tube of toothpaste. Which, by the way, is not even a liquid. It’s a paste. And it’s wasteful to throw away a practically new tube of toothpaste. He didn’t even ask me. And some people don’t have toothpaste. I am now one of those people.

Anyway the rest of the boarding process went smoothly. I got on the plane and fell asleep almost instantly. I was awoken at around 7:30am when the pilot announced that the mechanics were coming aboard the plane to fix a problem. At 8:30 they told us we were going to leave at 10 so we could get off the plane to stretch our legs until the problem was fixed. When we got off the plane, they told us we would leave at 11, and at 11 they told us we could leave at 2. I thought it would be a good time to read Of Mice and Men because it’s such a short book and it would make me feel accomplished to finish it by the time I got on my flight, so I bought it for $15 at a bookstore. That’s a little more than $6.50 a page, but I’m trying not to be judge myself too much for it because I was delirious by this time. A short while later, they told us the flight was canceled, and I waited in a line until 1:30 to get another flight. A lot of people on the flight were trying to make weddings that night or today. One woman was trying to be a bridesmaid at a wedding in Hawaii. I wonder if she made it. At 1:45 they found the perfect one for me: A 3:00 flight to the Ontario airport with a layover in Salt Lake City…leaving from LaGuardia.

I got to the other airport at 2:30, just in time to miss my flight. Luckily I made a 4:15 flight to Minneapolis where I had a 2 and a half hour layover so I went to Chilis and had a big dinner and a margarita. I met a middle aged man and he bought me a beer. My first alone-at-a-bar experience. Not bad. I got into LA at 11:15pm, 13 hours after I was supposed to.

This may have been a long and boring story, but I’m just trying to warn you: There’s a lot of plastic in the ocean, so try not to use so much of it. If you have to use plastic, don’t fill it with a liquid or a paste and bring it to the airport. If you want to go to a wedding, I recommend getting there a week early, or perhaps just skyping in. In any case, planes should be avoided whenever possible. It’s a bit disorienting to look down at clouds.